I was a school teacher for fifteen years in the same school. The one experience that completely changed my life, and made my husband look for how to pay the bills, was my resignation. I decided that someone else should teach in my place.
This happened when someone said to me, “We will have Central Office visit your class this Fall.”
I was in the midst of a conversation that was trying to make me resign. I was told my teaching was poor, and I was being confronted. I was most uncomfortable.
I said,”I won’t be there.”
“Where will you be?”they said.
I said, “If I am a poor teacher, I don’t need to be teaching. I will resign the end of this year. You have right now your 8o days notice.”
It took some grit to leave teaching, and to tell Ed what had happened.I taught through the end of the school year, and left with my things in May. We about starved that first year, because I didn’t work. I didn’t want to teach again.
I found a tutoring job that Fall. The boss was nice to me, and she understood. She had worked with several who were booted out of a school system because they were different. They didn’t follow the model like everyone else.
My mother was having health problems, and my dad was calling on me frequently. They moved to Georgia, and I sighed some relief. It was too late. I had resigned by then. That summer I spent more time with my parents, and it was nice to be away.
I changed, from someone who hurried to work, and stayed 3 hours after school to plan, and organize. I stopped working with children, and I wouldn’t darken a school door for a long time. I was hurt, and when I found the tutoring job, I let my new boss know how I felt, and what happened to me.
It took a long time for her to call me into her office and say, “Ruby, there is nothing wrong with the way you teach. You are good with the children, and there seems to be a gift that goes along with it. I am glad to have you on my team.”
That year I learned much from my boss. She had a background in Special Education, and I thought this was wonderful to learn so much more about teaching.I stayed at this tutoring situation until she left for retirement reasons, and then I found a way to resign when the new boss lady took over.
It is sad, but then it was time to leave. Maybe leaving left a hole in the system. Maybe my insecurity showed that day, but if someone doesn’t believe I am a good teacher, then I need to exit stage left.
I left children, and parents looking for me. I left children who would not get attention, because those who were the most quiet were the ones that I tried to teach how to become better in their work. I tried to give them reason for more self-confidence.
I would have taught on for twenty-five years, but when I found that I was a poor teacher, I had no more to say.
“Get off my back, or I will resign.” I thought.
I prayed down the hall, “Father, what do I do? Are you saying to come home, and stay home? You don’t want me to teach anymore?”
I cried, and talked to the Lord, and I think He gave me peace to walk out that last day, and to skip to the car. I had my records straight, my things were gone, and my team gave me a going away present. So I was by myself, and I skipped from the sidewalk to the end of it, and on to the car. My joy is knowing that I have something to do with my life, and that Father had turned the corner for me.
I think it is sad. Parents, and children looked to be in my room. I wasn’t there. I was at home saying, “School has started.Now what do you want me to do with the rest of my life?”
It hurt to have to quit teaching this way.I have found the joy of staying at home. I have found more time to do what I want to do. I painted all that summer. I haven’t picked it up this year, but I will. My church walls are full of my paintings. I have that gift also.
Just because the door closed, doesn’t mean that I was a poor teacher. I worked hard, and I prayed hard. My class was noisy, and they didn’t mind. I taught those who were way behind in their academics, so we had to work hard to catch them up. Scores came up, but not to the fiftieth percentile.I know that they learned enough to make their scores go up in the areas that we worked on.
There is no reason to have left, or to have not put up a fight, but I left before a fight started. I left because I felt it was time to leave. I haven’t been back to observe, or to get back into teaching. I am in retirement.
I will not forget what happened, but I have forgiven. Yes, I have forgiven, and sometimes it takes much to do that. You forgive, and go on down the road by yourself without the children following you. You forgive, and pray for those children you taught. You forgive, and forgive, and forgive. Mustard seed faith is that the seed becomes something. God let me go.
I would never have thought of writing, but my son showed me Rubies Corner blog, and WordPress. We came up with the name together. I will always love him, because he understood that I needed something else to do with my time. He is out of school now, and he writes also.
I would have never found Word Press. I would never have started Rubies Corner blog. I would never have learned to write freely from my heart, and so daily. I would never have had the time to do this. I would never have taken up painting until summers, and then they were getting shorter. I am so glad I resigned. It hurt, but I have brushed myself off, and I am skipping down the path toward the Lord.
I am running when I am not skipping, and I am walking when I don’t skip or run.I have learned so much and I am really changing daily into someone who is quieter, who studies hard in the Word, and gets joy from being in His Presence. I hope nothing happens to separate me from the audience that I have on Word Press. I haven’t met you, but I continually rejoice, and pray, that you will find the Lord, and make Him yours. I find myself sharing Christ every day. He makes the difference in me. I have joy, peace, and love, and I know that I can do all things through Him who loves me and died for me. I am crucified with Christ. I live so that His life can shine through me. This is my way of communicating the most, and I hope that you don’t think of me as a silly little person who writes ways too much. I hope you know that I come to this site with the Lord’s Presence on me. He is number one in my life. He loves you, and died for you. Make the most of this time. Romans 8:28